CC 20 JULY 31 a

 

 

From: g87

Sent: Friday, July 31, 2015 12:19 PM

To: nick.collins@ccam.org.au

Subject: Hello Nick Collins and yourTeam Leader / solicitor Alan Baker

 

Hello Nick Collins ..

and your Team Leader / solicitor Alan Baker

 

Dear people,

WE had a relatively pleasant hour yesterday and herein I merely send you a few things alluded to by myself during same.

• The obituary I wrote for our daughter around late March 2007: THEY HAD NO WORDS TO SAY.
• Some sort of context for Alan’s comment quoting Rabbi Goodhardt. AS per link to my blog.http://socialistdystopia.blogspot.com.au/2015/07/seidners-listing-of-media-spin-1-carr.html

I will be in touch soon to add context to our meeting and parts of above.

Regards

Geoff Seidner

 

 

Written during the shloshim...around 30/3/2007

2 weeks after Ruchie died.

GS

---

 

They had no words to say

It is inappropriate to seek any grief-comparison of the tragic death of a young woman in adult bloom with those struck down with youth ne'er attained. Nor young people's lives extinguished with those of sagacity and wisdom that comes with age.

My elder daughter Ruchie (Rachel) Zeimer (35, mother of 3 young children) somehow managed intimate multi-generational friendships:

• She took Sh’lach Manot (Purim gifts) mere days earlier to an elderly widow family friend.
• If mothers could not find their teenage daughters after school, they would be at 'Ruchie's place'. She was their mentor and more.
• She was adored by her many friends, loved by her 3 children and family, and respected by fellow teachers. Simply - she lit up any room she walked into with her contagious smile, charm, warmth and personality. Those blessed to have known her know this is not the typical grief of a stricken father.
• Rabbis mentioned her in shul - those who did not even know her.
• My father passed away last November; he did not see his 'treasure' die in tragic circumstances 3 weeks ago. [March 7]  She was the legal carer for my mother who has dementia: my father chose well. Ruchie's primary concern recently was that too much work / effort would be borne by my wonderful wife Eva in caring for my mother's inevitably increasing needs. That was so typical Ruchie.

“I have no words to say”

The awe-inspiring phrase used by hundreds before, during and after our sitting of Shiva was:

“I have no words to say”. Some remained mute - in tears. Most managed to go on to describe the impact our Ruchie had on their lives.

The wonderful friends who read bedtime stories, cleaned up, changed a nappy, and seamlessly tried to replace the irreplaceable as we sat Shiva - their deeds found ways to say.

Those who suffered tragedies incomparable; their experiences comforted the inconsolable, ameliorated the unbelievable with wonderful words and feeling.

The very ill Rabbi struggled for breath in finding the bare minimum words to say from his hospital bed: “HaMakom yenachem eschem b'soch sha'ar avaylei Tsion V’Yerushalayim” [May the Omnipresent comfort you with the rest of the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.]

Ruchie’s many works of charity demonstrated how a busy person could cope with being busier. Ruchie always had time for all, especially her loving children and loving husband Howard. Their words were an appreciation of an amazing person.

The Children

Aryeh the 8 year old 'big boy' has always allowed 2 year old Dina to completely dominate him. He is grieving by apparently misbehaving. His teary eyes are not frequently seen; he soon temporarily loses himself in play.

He tries to maintain - and seemingly wants - a similar order of operation to before.

Reuvi [6] seems to be involved in constant play: one is sometimes aware there is something different now with this precocious little boy, when both boys interrogate their grandmother about why she cannot have a baby. Reuvi had earlier resigned himself: “I won't have any more babies.”

Perhaps they cry where no one sees them.

'Personality-plus' little Dina merely intermittently opines ''Imma'' - for no apparent purpose.

'It always happens to someone else'

This thought may be a selfish derivation of mere denial, perhaps understandable.

However those who have had tragedies foisted on them tell me that we will eventually be able to have a whole hour without that hollow, horrible constant feeling that our world will never be the same.

Some may appreciate that those overcome with grief seek succour by attempting to buy mere seconds of diversion in disparate ways. Whether it is Shul politics or other internecine chatter on matters immaterial, it can perhaps  be described as 'mood swings' I am told.

I verily look forward to even a few minutes: people are not around me in such numbers anymore - I cannot use them in the same way to try to transport myself into the world of social intercourse and temporary distraction.

Now is the time to look after the children and comfort each other.

Be-yado Afkid Ruchi

Ruchie lived up to the ideals of the name by which she was known: Ruchie / Ruach: Spirit. I still had tears left when we sang Adon Olam at the end of services on Shabbat:

Be-yado Afkid Ruchi ...

Into His hand I shall entrust my spirit

When I go to sleep - and I shall awaken

With my spirit shall my body remain

Hashem is with me I shall not fear.

The Memorial 'Yahrzeit' candle is now extinguished. May our people know no more sorrow.

Geoff Seidner